


Real Talk

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-13
Updated: 2003-03-13
Packaged: 2019-04-27 06:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14419965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: A persistent phone call from Mulder.





	Real Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

Real Talk

## Real Talk

### by ScamBeliever

TITLE: Real Talk (1/1)  
AUTHOR: ScamBeliever  
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT : Anywhere :D  
**RATING: G**  
**CLASSIFICATION: S, H**  
**KEYWORDS: UST**  
SPOILER WARNING: Small reference to small potatoes SUMMARY: A persistent phone call from Mulder. AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is an old one. One of the first I've written. Though you might still like it. 

Real Talk  
by ScamBeliever 

rrring...rrring... 

"Mulder." 

"Hey, it's me. I called you at your apartment but I got the machine. Where are you?" 

"What's up?" 

"Just wanted to remind you of our early meeting with Skinner." 

"Ooh, Scully. Aren't you just eager to see the A.D." 

"Not if you're going to be late." 

"Call it a favor to give you two some 'precious' time alone." 

"I call it an excuse for not answering my question." 

"I didn't ditch you if that's what you're implying." 

"My, my, aren't we defensive. Where are you really?" 

"Around." 

"Okay, whatever. Just make sure you'll be at the meeting on time. It's in the morning, Mulder. 8:00 AM sharp." 

Silence. 

"Mulder?" 

"You don't ask a lot of questions, do you Scully?" 

"What?" 

"I mean, aren't you the least bit curious of what I'm doing right now?" 

"Am I supposed to be?" 

"You tell me." 

"Mulder, you're not making any sense." 

"Ask me Scully." 

"O-kay...are you pursuing a case?" 

"No. I told you I didn't ditch you." 

"Are you in trouble?" 

"No." 

"I'm hanging up now Mulder." 

"What? Why?" 

"It's Sunday night, the last day of the weekend, we have an early meeting tomorrow and I don't want to waste a goodnight's sleep because you do by unnecessary late night chatter." 

Silence. 

" <Sigh> Look Mulder, I'm-" 

"You don't want to 'chat'?" 

"Mulderrr..." 

"That was your choice of word, Scully. I was thinking more in the lines of 'talk', 'converse'-" 

"What's your point?" 

"Why don't we talk Scully, really 'talk'?" 

Silence. 

"Scully?" 

"Sorry Mulder...erm, deja vu." 

"Someone said the same thing?" 

"You can say that." 

"What did you say?" 

"Uhm, something." 

"See? That's what I'm talking about. I can't even get an answer from you with something as trivial as that." 

"Since when were you interested?" 

"Since when did you think I wasn't?" 

Silence. 

"What are you really doing Mulder?" 

"Right now?" 

"Yes." 

"Thinking." 

"<Sigh> I'll leave you to your thoughts then. G'night Mulder." **CLICK.**

15 minutes later... 

rrring...rrring...rrring... 

"Scully." CLICK. 

rrring...rrring... 

"Scully." CLICK. 

two minutes later.... 

rrring...rrri- 

"Damnit, who is this?!" 

"It's me." 

"Mulder?! Is there something wrong?" 

"You tell me." 

"You've got to be kidding me?! Why are you so goddamn relentless? Why is it so important that it can't wait 'til tomorrow?" 

"You don't think it's important?" 

"Mulder!" 

"It's a simple question Scully." 

Pause. 

"Of course it is." 

"Simple question or our relationship is important? There, I said it. I want to talk about our relationship Scully." 

"Wow Mulder. Brav-o. Thanks for spelling it out for me. Must've been quite a burden keeping it all inside." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, for someone who wants to 'talk', you're not very good at being direct." 

"Well...at least _I_ say something." 

"At least I keep my mouth shut 'til I've had something clear to say." 

"Can't we say something without having edited it first in our head?" 

"You never edit your words Mulder. Take this conversation." 

"Right, but _you_ do." 

"It's called being polite and careful." 

"Polite?! You're not talking to the president Scully. You're just having a normal, untapped tete-a-tete with FBI's spookiest!" 

"Gee, wonder where I got my paranoia." 

"You're changing the subject." 

"Well you're not making any sense." 

"You've said that twice already." 

"You've proven it twice. <pause> God Mulder, you're giving me a headache." 

Silence. 

"Why do you keep your distance Scully?" 

Silence. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Like hell you don't. Why do you keep pushing away?" 

"You're the one to talk! Mulder, I don't know everything about you. You don't tell me every single thing. Frankly, I don't care. So I don't tell you everything either. Big deal. We're even. I don't have a problem with that. I don't understand why you do!" 

"If you don't care Scully, why are you yelling?" 

"'Cause you're pissing me off!" 

"Maybe it's because you're finally seeing my point." 

"No. It's because we're going in circles. 'Night Mulder. Sweet dreams. No wait, scratch that. I wish you have the most horrific nightmares." 

**_BANG_.**

half an hour later... 

rrring...rrring...rrring...rrring... (continues for a couple of minutes) 

Silence. 

rrring...rrring...rrri- 

"Damnit! Forget what we _are_ to each other. I'm going to rip your balls off and shove it down your throat as soon as I get my hands on you!" 

Silence. 

" <Ahem> I'd rather not forget Agent Scully because it would be the very thing that would keep you from doing exactly that." 

"Sir?! Oh my go-, um, forgive my words sir." 

"Is there a problem Agent Scully?" 

"No sir. Nothing I can't handle." 

"Yes of course. I just remembered that I need your report on my desk before our previously set meeting. Just hand it over to Kimberly first. I'll still be expecting both you and Agent Mulder at 8." 

"Yes sir." 

"And Agent Scully, I assume that your initial, um, 'greeting' was intended for Agent Mulder." 

"Sir..." 

"I know Mulder, he knows how to get under anyone's skin, especially yours." 

"I wouldn't deny that sir." 

"I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt to actually do exactly what you said- just to keep him in line." 

"I'll try sir." 

"G'night Agent." CLICK. 

rrring...rrring....rrring... 

"Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now. Just please leave a message and I'll try to get back to you as soon as I can. Frohike, Byers, Langley, you know where to reach me." Toooot. _BANG_. 

rrring...rrring... 

"Mulder." 

"Where the hell are you?! Why aren't you home yet?!" 

"Well honey, the guys invited me for a couple of drinks and I completely lost track-" 

"Cut the crap Mulder! Where are you?!" 

"Now wait a minute. First you don't want to talk to me, now you can hardly wait to see me?" 

Silence. 

" <Footsteps. Whoosh. Bang. Cli-click.>" 

"Scully, what are you doing?" 

"I'm loading my gun." 

"God Scully, take it easy. Are you really that mad?" 

"What do you think?" 

Silence. 

"Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was too sensitive a subject, off-limits, hands-off issue." 

"<Sigh> I'm not that mad. Well...I was because you made me do something really embarrassing." 

"Huh? What?" 

"Skinner called and I thought it was you...and I was just so angry...I said something really...<Sigh>" 

Silence. 

Silence. 

"Mulder, I do think what we have _is_ important but I never really thought we'd actully be talking about it." 

"I know Scully. It's just that it's confusing me sometimes." 

"You and me both. Take now for example. You don't like it when I don't answer your questions but you do the same to me." 

"I do?" 

"Mulderrr...how many times have I asked you where you are? You either dodge the question or go for vague. Simple question Mulder but you can't directly answer." 

"Does this mean we're going to _talk_ now? Really talk?  <Pause> I'm coming over." 

"Hold it. One question." 

"Shoot." 

"Don't say that to an armed person, Mulder." 

"I like living dangerously. What's your question?" 

"It's nothing really. Uhm, it's just that in your answering machine, you...ah...why is it you only expect the gunmen to know where to reach you?" 

"In other words, why did I leave you out?" 

"Yes." 

"Because Scully, if I'm not home, I'm most probably wherever you are." 

Silence. 

Silence. 

"So...can I come over now?" 

"Alright. How long- <knock knock>. Wait Mulder, someone's at my door. <Footsteps. Pause.> MULDER?!" CLICK. 

* * *

Mulder is standing in front of her door, his phone still pressed on his ear. Scully whips the door wide open and looks at him like the most astounding X-file to date. Mulder slowly puts down his phone and tries to smile. 

"Pizza?" He holds out a box of cold pizza in front of him. Scully debates between taking it and shooting him on the spot. She reconsiders and tilts her head with of course the patented raised red eyebrow. 

"You've been here the whole time?!" 

"Not exactly, more in front of your building, inside my car." 

His expression is unreadable and unblinking which unnerves Scully because he doesn't seem embarrassed by the confession like he damn well should be. 

"Why didn't you come up then? When you said around, I didn't think it was just a few yards away." 

Mulder lowers the pizza which Scully hadn't taken. His eyes follow it down and keeps it there while he answers. 

"I told you, I was thinking." 

Scully observes the change in Mulder's manner and softens. She never could stay mad at him. Rolling her eyes, she reaches for the pizza, takes it from him and steps back to let her utterly insane partner in. Mulder looks up immediately and was past her, not missing a microbeat. He goes directly to her couch but stops midway of sitting down when he notices the gun lying on top of the table beside the phone cradle. 

"You were really loading it?" He is genuinely surprised. 

"It's already loaded Mulder. I always check it before I turn in." she answers as she closes the door. 

"But you were thinking of shooting me." He twists on the sofa to face her, his amusement unmasked. 

"It crossed my mind. But, I was thinking of something more horrifying for you." 

She waits as Mulder tries to guess, his expression changing. He is trying to figure out what it was. Scully senses he is also thinking if she was serious or teasing but tries to hide his curiosity. Scully walks over to where he is and stops behind the couch. She leans over to level her eyes with his, their faces inches apart. To Mulder's credit, he doesn't pull away, doesn't flinch. But he does it with no small amount of effort because he is dizzyingly inhaling Scully-scent and threatening to be drowned in her laser-blue eyes. 

Scully takes her time to deliver the punchline. 

"I was thinking of shooting your aquarium." she says smiling thinly. 

They stay where they are, a second more than necessary. Mulder tries not to smile back but loses the battle and slowly gives in to it. By the time he has worked up to a wide grin, Scully has shied away towards the kitchen to heat the pizza. 

**END.**

* * *

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